12
Aug
2018

Where is God in the Waiting?

Found in: Main Articles
Where is God in the Waiting?

Never did I think that six years after writing Broken Beautiful that I would be personally holding on to every single lyric of that song.  A song meant to encourage others “in the waiting” and in the broken moments of life…a song of desperation, hope and restoration…a song that resonates with me so much right now in this season.  As a songwriter, it feels a little weird when you listen to your own songs and find yourself crying in a puddle on the floor as your lyrics speak to you.  It can be odd hearing your voice sing truth and you are agreeing with yourself.  Yet the Lord gently reminded me that His word never returns void and that the words of Broken Beautiful are actually His words…inspired by the Spirit of God.  In a tiny room at Integrity Music in Franklin, Tennessee, I sat down with one of my Hillsong worship heroes & favorite lyricists, Mia Fieldes.  I poured my heart out and shared my story.  I wanted a “beauty for ashes” type of song, but desired it to be more like a prayer that I would cry out to the Lord in my personal time with Him.  A vulnerable song that not only conveyed the frustration, hurt and disappointment in the brokenness, but also that hope that comes when those pieces are placed in His hands. I wanted a song that spoke to the silence that we sometimes hear in those dark moments. Mia quietly said, “How about…’Hello God, are You there?’” The rest of the words flowed and that is how Broken Beautiful came to be.  You’ll hear the word “waiting” several times in the song because at that point in my life I felt that all I had done was WAIT. I had been in a waiting season for over 15 years.  Waiting for my daughter to be healed, waiting for my future husband, waiting for my life-long calling to be fulfilled.  I began to resent the “waiting” as if it was some sort of punishment for past decisions or missed opportunities or lack of faith.  Why were all of my friends seeing their dreams fulfilled but not me?  When would I be the one to shout it from the rooftops or post on social media that my waiting was over?  I had many hard conversations with God that sounded something like this…”God, You know I’m not getting any younger.  God, my daughter doesn’t deserve this.  God, time is running out. “ I felt as if I were somehow not really LIVING until those things happened in my life. Yet, my eyes were opened to a revelation just recently.  LIFE happens in the waiting…in the unseen moments…in the quiet hidden seasons when you cry out and all you hear are crickets.  But, He is THERE…waiting with me.  He kindly reminds me that His timing is perfect. That sometimes what is coming is so much bigger than me and there is preparation that needs to take place in my heart and soul in order for me to be ready.

In today's society, we want everything quickly and through technology and scientific advances, we have grown accustomed to getting everything quickly.  As humans, we are wired to resist waiting.  We despise traffic and red lights, we crave fast food, we don't like when people don't text back within 5 minutes. Patience is not a characteristic that we easily acquire.  We hear all the sayings..."Patience is a virtue" or "Good things come to them that wait." Those sound great and all, but when you feel lost in the deep caves caused by years and years of waiting on God's promises...it's easy to lose heart. In those times when it feels like everyone around you is getting the desires of their hearts at such a fast pace while your life resembles a snail’s journey, God is still working.  He is shining light on areas that need to be pruned and cut away to prepare for the new growth & the new things God will do in His time.  Sometimes, it hurts and aches, but heart surgery is never without it’s pain and it takes time to heal, but the end result is a free, whole, healthy child of God.  Today, I am still waiting for all those things I mentioned earlier, but I’ve leaned in closer and closer to my Source and I’m learning to embrace the slower paced moments that are right in front of me. In the darkness and silence of waiting, I'm able to trust in what I can't see and hear His voice clearer than ever. God’s work in us never sleeps and it’s never wasted.  Don’t miss what happens “in the waiting”.  There is pruning, revelation, trust, growth and much character building in those frustrating, yet precious moments.  I’m convinced now more than ever that anything worth having is worth waiting for.  The time will come, and when it does, will you be READY FOR IT?  I know I will be. 

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